Tangled Times: Unusual News and Views

Rush Hour Traffic

Think YOUR commute is stressful?  Check out what these unsuspecting Asians suffer through.

It's Raining Cash in Germany

Yesterday, a 24-year old woman was driving through Worms, Germany, when euros started falling from the sky. 

According to Reuters, she "hit the brakes and collected a "substantial amount of money" before turning it over to police, authorities...said."

Well, I'm confused... What kind of person hits a jackpot like this and then runs to the Polizei?

It's not like she found a wallet on the ground - or wads of cash strapped to a rotting corpse. 

And what of the mysterious money supply?  Perhaps it was our Federal Reserve Chairman, "Helicopter" Ben Bernanke... on his way to Berlin?

Study: Women AND Men Talk Too Much!

Blah...Blah...Blah-bity Blah! 

Who talks more... men or women?

For years the conventional studies showed that women's daily word-count exceeded the average man's tally.  "In The Female Mind, Dr Luan Brizendine says women devote more brain cells to talking than men. And, if that wasn't enough, the simple act of talking triggers a flood of brain chemicals which give women a rush similar to that felt by heroin addicts when they get a high."

Then along came Friday's edition of the journal, Science.  I don't read journals - but evidently the AP does - and here's what they had to say:

"A team led by Matthias R. Mehl, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Arizona, came up with the finding, which is published in Friday's issue of the journal Science.

The researchers placed microphones on 396 college students for periods ranging from two to 10 days, sampled their conversations and calculated how many words they used in the course of a day.

The score: Women, 16,215. Men, 15,669."

So we are equals, after all?  I don't know if this study's the end-all, but I do feel sorry for those scientists sitting around counting hundreds of thousands of words.  It's a good thing they have important work to do - otherwise, you know, they might have to cure cancer.

Fourth of July: Grill 'til it Hurts

Happy Fourth of July!

This year, I'm a little bitter about it falling on a Wednesday.  No three day weekend?  Bummer.

But hey, what can you do?

If Thomas Jefferson had his wish, we'd be celebrating our independence on July 2nd... here's an excerpt from a letter the statesman wrote to his wife:

"The second day of July, 1776, will be the most memorable epoch in the history of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival. It ought to be commemorated as the day of deliverance, by solemn acts of devotion to  God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations, from one end of this continent to the other, from this time forward forever more."  (Source, Wikipedia.)

So much for solemn acts - though Jefferson's use of the word meant "awe-inspiring"... not "somber or gloomy."

The weather in DC is gloomy today - but that won't halt us from celebrating the day with imported Chinese fireworks and flags. 

Ah, well.  At least they don't manufacture patriotism in far-flung factories.  Not yet.

Man Punches Impolite Drive-Through Clerk

Duane L. Williams only wanted to super-size his value-meal... Now the poor guy's been charged with "simple assault, disorderly conduct and harassment."

According to the AP, Williams "thought the clerk at a fast-food drive-through was rude for not saying 'please' and 'thank you' [so he pried open the drive through window and] punched her in the face."

We all have our share of fast-food horror stories.  Sometimes they're stingy with the ketchup... or top a burger with everything except the condiment you requested.

Somehow, I've managed to restrain myself from physically assaulting the cross-eyed teenagers who lurk behind grease-coated windows.  (A few deep breaths, a mouthful of fries...and the moment passes.)

Who knows what was on Williams' mind on Thursday.  Maybe he had a bad day... maybe he's trying to start his own sick version of Pay-It-Forward... (Punch-it-Forward?).  I honestly don't know.

It's your turn - What's the worst/strangest experience you've ever had at a drive-through window?

Pant-less Police Have Baltimore Covered

The signs of summer are all around us - swarming mosquitos, tourist gridlock, sunburn, flip-flop odor...
and cops without pants.

Hey, it's cheaper than air conditioning... doesn't require dry-cleaning and might even encourage overweight officers to shed a few pounds.

According to a UPI article, "The Baltimore Police announced that it has run out of police-issue pants in sizes 36 and 38."

Said Troy Harris, a Baltimore police spokesman, "We're putting in an emergency order for those two sizes."

No word on what the pant-less officers are up to.  Let's hope they're not patrolling Charm City in the buff.  That's a Mason-Dixon line we all don't have to cross.  One can hope.

President Putin Targets North Pole, Evicts Santa Clause

Look out kids, Santa Clause is about to be homeless.

If President Vladimir Putin has his way, Russia will take over operations at the north poll.  Their fearless leader has set his sights on the region's diamond deposits and vast stores of oil.

According to England's Daily Mail, "[Putin's] scientists claim an underwater ridge near the North Pole is really part of Russia's continental shelf."  The triangle shaped region in question is "five times the size of Britain with twice as much oil as Saudi Arabia."

This is like claiming ownership of a neighbor's home, because roads, pipes or wires connect it to your own place.   

But when you're the ruler of a corrupt, wealthy nation with an imperialistic itch... right and wrong - my place or yours becomes...well... a pleasant shade of gray.  (And this happy guy - pictured above - surely isn't the only world leader who fits that bill.)

A glance at Putin will tell you the man's serious... Heck, when he's happy, he looks like a kid who just watched his mother get run over by a garbage truck.  Wonder if he'd ever try out for the World Series of Poker?

Vid of the Week: Amtrak's 'Extreme Commuter' Line, Revealed

Amtrak fares are skyrocketing!  I figure, they must be doing some killer research & development.

Want a sneak peek behind the scenes of the Extreme Commuter Line?  Check this out:

China's War on Bald Taxi Drivers

From Beijing comes word that China is sprucing up its appearance, in advance of the 2008 Olympic Games.

And where did their image-bolstering begin?

Cabbies!

Taxi drivers have it rough enough.  Imagine being stuck in a hideous, yellow car all day, listening to strangers chortle about the same stupid topics - all the while wondering if one of them intends to burgle. 

Chinese cabbies just got another dose of venom from their government.  According to AFP, "shaved heads [will] be banned from the driving seat." 

That's right... no hair, no fare. 

And this is on top of Beijing's already-punitive laws against bearded drivers or women cabbies with "too-fancy" hairstyles. 

More from AFP: "Beijing's 70,000 taxi drivers work long hours for low pay and often sleep and eat in their vehicles, leading to complaints about dirty and smelly cabs."

Leave it to the Communist quacks in charge to side-step that issue. 

Perhaps the Olympic committee should take a trip to New York - where acceptance of individuals differs by 180 degrees.  Here's a city that was attacked by extremist Muslims less than 6 years ago - and half the cabbies are still wearing turbans.   

Wonder if that would fly in the Far-East?

German Taxman Robs Pols With Fake 'Peters'

You've heard of folks cheating on their taxes - but how about a taxman cheating on his citizens?

According to Reuters, "a German official, who stole more than $230,000 from the state by inventing taxpayers and claiming money owed to them," will be jailed for three years and three months.

Since 2003, the unidentified bureaucrat siphoned money off three 'imaginary friends.'  But wait... it gets even better.

He stashed the bulk of the illicit funds into multiple bank accounts, "including ones held by his wife and mother-in-law."

As they weren't implicated - it would seem that he kept the whole mess a secret from them.  How's that for a set of steel cojones?

Let's look on the bright side - where he's headed, he'll surely need them.