Tangled Times: Unusual News and Views

It's Raining Cash in Germany

Yesterday, a 24-year old woman was driving through Worms, Germany, when euros started falling from the sky. 

According to Reuters, she "hit the brakes and collected a "substantial amount of money" before turning it over to police, authorities...said."

Well, I'm confused... What kind of person hits a jackpot like this and then runs to the Polizei?

It's not like she found a wallet on the ground - or wads of cash strapped to a rotting corpse. 

And what of the mysterious money supply?  Perhaps it was our Federal Reserve Chairman, "Helicopter" Ben Bernanke... on his way to Berlin?

Banana Bargains...and Best Buy

Well, we've had a few comments on the mystery of the produce aisle.  I am itching to ask my local  manager what's going on.

Back when I was 14-17 years old, I worked at one of these supermarkets in New Jersey.  I never thought to ask my co-workers about the value of bananas...  Truthfully, I was obsessed with pimping out frozen pizzas - with intense flavors that would make Mama Celeste blush.

But I digress...

In the fruit kingdom as in ours, it pays to be thick skinned.  My educated guess is that more bananas survive the global jaunt from Central America, etc. than the more tender-skinned variety of food.

Some people think there's an anti-planet banana conspiracy out there. 

And right here on Tangled Times, one sharp commenter pointed out how markets tempt folks into the produce aisle... and then, "whammo!" they hit you with the $6 blueberry tray.

It's not unlike Best Buy - where people used to buy CDs.  You'd just swing by there and pick up a new release for $10...and go, "hey... those cellphones/laptops/flat-screen TVs are lookin' mighty fine...I think I'll buy one."

Shocked at the Supermarket

It's summertime.  And I'm checking out my local supermarket for some refreshing, healthy fruit...

Walking down the produce aisle... I can almost taste it.  A few crisp grapes or a slice of watermelon... maybe a handful of gleaming red strawberries.

But wait... What's this?  $6 for a bag of seedless red grapes?  $4 for a cross-cut melon?  The prices of fruits and veggies are higher than ever.

Meanwhile Snickers bars are dirt cheap... 2 for a buck. 

Is it any wonder this country is tipping the scales toward obesity? 

How does it look on your end?  Have you experienced "sticker shock" at the supermarket this year?  Share your story by posting a comment below.

"Harry Squatter" Goes from Broke Bloke to Debonair Millionaire

Woody Allen once said, "80% of success is showing up." 

And there's no man who's taken those words to heart more than Harry Hallowes.  At 71 years of age, the homeless Hallowes could be easily cast aside as a failure...a bum...a scalawag.  But that's all in the past.  Today, he's a millionaire.  All because the Brit chose the right place to lay down.

Yesterday, he jubilantly emerged from court, having won the right to 8,611 square feet of prime London real estate. 

How did this happen?

For 21 long years, he bedded down on the former site of a nursing home.  In a makeshift shack, Hallowes found a home and stuck with it. 

In 2005, luxury building developers attempted to evict him, but he refused to give in...seeking out his own legal counsel.  Since he had called the lot home for so many years, and no one had previously tried to evict him, the local court ruled in his favor.  Voila...instant millionaire.

When asked what he'd do with the money, the septuagenarian told AFP, "Maybe I'll build myself a house -- everyone else around here seems to love building houses."

Well... for Harry's sake, let's hope the government doesn't invoke eminent domain - in order to construct a low-income housing unit.  At this point, he's going to have a hard time qualifying.

From Coffers to Coffins, Pols Die in Style

So... you think your elected representatives are bad?  Be glad you don't live in Italy.

Citizens of the famed peninsula are fuming over the perks offered to local politicians.  Give-aways include, free lunches, parking, expense accounts and now funerals!

That's right, when a local rappresentante kicks the bucket... his constituents foot the bill. 

Legislation passed under cover of darkness gave pols the right to a free (up to $10,000) funeral.  According to a recent Reuters report, Veneto council president, Marino Finozzi said, "it's not true we approved it at night because we were ashamed. It just happened to be late."

Despite Finozzi's best lavoro di rotazione (a.k.a. "spin job") the public outcry has been fierce.

So there you have it.  Us proles can muddle along, coughing up 40% of our hard-earned income until we croak.  Then the government takes its 50% death tax on any estate over $2,000,000.

If you want to get a laugh out of your accountant... ask her if your funeral costs are "deductible."  Meanwhile, some pols like these Italian "councilors" get a free pass to eternity thanks to the undying, mandatory support of a burgled public.

Eccellente!

Paid Vacations Among Rich Nations

How does you vacation-time stack up?

-The French receive 30 days/year...by law
-Most other Europeans receive at least 20 days/year

But in the United States, companies are free to dole out...0 days. 

That's right...according to a recent Reuters article, "The United States is the only advanced economy in the world that does not guarantee its workers paid vacation days and paid holidays."

28 million working American's don't catch any vacay time.  A staggering number.  Yet 90% of American employers offer some form of a vacation package to their employees.

Do the math:  That would mean that 28 million people are employed by 10% of American businesses.  That would seem to mean that small businesses are giving their workers the shaft. 

Odds are a law requiring small business owners to pay for vacation days would submarine all but the strongest family franchises. 

So we're between the metaphorical rock and hard place.  Do we, as a nation, continue down a path that exploits our hard-working citizens?  Or do we yank the carpet from out under small business owners?

It just goes to show what a fragile predicament we're in.  And all this, in what's considered a world super-power, the U S of A.  Makes you think, doesn't it?

Meanwhile a country like Finland offers its residents 30 paid vacation days per year and 9 paid holidays!  I've never visited the country, but it's safe to say their small businesses are doing just fine. 

Much to Live For...Nothing to Live On

John Brandrick, a British man, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer two years ago and told, "you'll probably die within the year."

Two years later, he's fit as a fiddle.  And the cancer?  Well, that turned out to be no more than a non-life threatening inflammation. 

So what's the problem?

In between diagnoses, Brandwick quit is job, sold most of his possessions and lived lavishly - expecting to kick the bucket and leave nothing behind.

Now he's got his life back... but is behind on mortgage payments and has no regular source of income. 

Brandrick told Sky television,"When they tell you you've got a limited time and everything, you do enjoy life.  I'm really pleased that I've got a second chance in life... but if you haven't got no money after all this, which is my fault -- I spent it all -- they should pay something back."

Come again?

It's my fault..I spent it all... and THEY should pay something back?

Maybe this guy has an inflammation of the cortex too.  But in this increasingly litigious society, juries award huge sums to plaintiffs of malpractice suits... often for no discernible reason.

Approximately 50,000 lawsuits are filed every WEEK in the USA.  You might think this has nothing to do with you - but every family of four ends up paying a hidden "lawsuit tax" of nearly $10,000 per year, in the form of increased costs of goods and services.

In short, you and I are subsidizing bozos like Brandrick and the unscrupulous lawyers who represent them on a contingency basis.

Pampered Mutts & Coddled Cats...That's What Dreams are Made Of

If you ever doubt that we're living in cushy, prosperous times... just swing by your local PetSmart. 

The fact that our economy can support these mega-pet-warehouses is proof enough that life is good.  How long will this hedonistic run last?  I haven't a clue...  But as the news out of Japan intimates, it ain't over yet.

The Tokyo-based Medical Life Care Giken has developed a new product for fawning pet owners.  Is fido overstressed?  Is fifi feeling down?  In the past, you were limited to guessing, based on their body language, behavior and appetite. 

Not any more.  Soon to be released is a 'pet stress patch.'  You place it on a dog's feet and within minutes, it will tell you his anxiety levels.

According to a Yahoo News report: "The company, which makes a similar patch for humans, says it worked with researchers at Toyama University to study the sweat patterns of dogs and cats, which secrete sweat from their paws..."

Ah... do you smell it?  The unmistakable odor (nay, essence) of progress!

Oregon Governor on Food Stamps

In a publicity stunt worth mentioning, Oregon Governor, Ted Kulongoski, has gone on food stamps.  For an entire week, the Gov will only spend $21 on food - the equivalent of what the state's average food stamp recipient receives.

Why is the politician "suffering" through a week without coffee, organic fruit and his favorite, Progresso soup?  To prove that it's hard to feed a family on a meager budget of government handouts.

Perhaps next week, he'll slash three of his tires and drive to work... take an eye test without his glasses ... or run a marathon in high heels.  Look on the bright side... at least these feats wouldn't cost hard-pressed taxpayers any more of their earned income.

Ahem... NO ONE has a right to a middle class lifestyle.  For sure, some of us have cushier beginnings than others - but in the end, our desire to achieve and sustain a high standard of living depends on our intelligence, initiative, frugality and ability to not have 12 kids.  If raising some guy's weekly food stamp allowance will better him in the above areas, I'm all for it... but government data show that isn't the case.

Robber Flushes Cash Down the Drain

A suspect, held on bank robbery charges, has buckled under police interrogation. 

Yesterday, the unnamed male divulged the loot's hiding place.  The location?  His parents' toilet.  Allegedly, this guy made off with a sack of money.  At some point, an ink bomb exploded, rendering the cash worthless.  So he did what any other bright, young Ohioan would do... cut it into strips...and flush his troubles away.

No clear motive for the act was apparent.  Tangled Times believes the kid just wanted to know what it felt like to be a U.S. congressman. 

Incidentally, if this ever happens to you, take a page from the pros in Washington.  Credibility is shred-ability.  And the Fellowes PowerShred PS-77CS is the right tool for the job.