Tangled Times: Unusual News and Views

Pizza Flavored Beer - Coming to a Shelf Near You

At last, a groundbreaking achievement has sprung from the streets of Chicago.  Oh, if only they could resurrect the annual World's Fair, I'm sure Tom Seefurth would garner top prize.

Seefurth, a real estate agent has combined two American loves into one palette-puzzling product:  pizza beer!

A dash of tomatoes... a pinch of garlic...and a sprinkle of oregano and basil.  This sure ain't your grand-pappy's brew.

If reading about this makes you all "dough-eyed," better high-tail it to Chicago-land.  According to the Associated Press, "Now, he's going commercial -- on a small scale. Walter Payton's Roundhouse in Aurora will serve the pizza beer as long as the supply lasts."

One can only hope that it will last a long, long time. 

Who knows, maybe Seefurth will get rich, when the Blackstone Group swoops in to buy his brew's infamous recipe for 7-figs.

Ah... there's nothing like the aftertaste of anchovies on a hot summer afternoon.  Drink, up me laddies and remember to tip your chef...err...bartender.

Banana Bargains...and Best Buy

Well, we've had a few comments on the mystery of the produce aisle.  I am itching to ask my local  manager what's going on.

Back when I was 14-17 years old, I worked at one of these supermarkets in New Jersey.  I never thought to ask my co-workers about the value of bananas...  Truthfully, I was obsessed with pimping out frozen pizzas - with intense flavors that would make Mama Celeste blush.

But I digress...

In the fruit kingdom as in ours, it pays to be thick skinned.  My educated guess is that more bananas survive the global jaunt from Central America, etc. than the more tender-skinned variety of food.

Some people think there's an anti-planet banana conspiracy out there. 

And right here on Tangled Times, one sharp commenter pointed out how markets tempt folks into the produce aisle... and then, "whammo!" they hit you with the $6 blueberry tray.

It's not unlike Best Buy - where people used to buy CDs.  You'd just swing by there and pick up a new release for $10...and go, "hey... those cellphones/laptops/flat-screen TVs are lookin' mighty fine...I think I'll buy one."

Shocked at the Supermarket

It's summertime.  And I'm checking out my local supermarket for some refreshing, healthy fruit...

Walking down the produce aisle... I can almost taste it.  A few crisp grapes or a slice of watermelon... maybe a handful of gleaming red strawberries.

But wait... What's this?  $6 for a bag of seedless red grapes?  $4 for a cross-cut melon?  The prices of fruits and veggies are higher than ever.

Meanwhile Snickers bars are dirt cheap... 2 for a buck. 

Is it any wonder this country is tipping the scales toward obesity? 

How does it look on your end?  Have you experienced "sticker shock" at the supermarket this year?  Share your story by posting a comment below.

Do Your Co-Workers Drive You to Drink?

Alcohol is one of those magical potions that virtually sells itself.  It's our little band-aid of choice after a hard day's work.  But in South Korea, officials thought booze needed a little boost.

So the government of Koesan County rolled out an award for drinking workers.  This "Cultural Drinking Prize" was bestowed upon those who worked hard and partied harder.  One of the winners, whose record listed a previous DUI arrest, took home top honors, flying all-expenses-paid to the island of Cheju.

Not surprisingly, there's been a cultural backlash, forcing the government to halt the competition in its stumbling tracks. 

An unnamed official told Reuters: "I guess it was our mistake that the purpose was misinterpreted."

From Ale to Jail

A hardened, bar-hopping criminal has found himself behind bars. 

German police, in hot pursuit of a cellphone bandit, employed a pint of trickery to locate their suspect.  An enterprising officer called the stolen phone's number.  When the crook answered, the he was told "You've won a crate of beer.  May we drop it off for you?"

Delirious with joy, the man revealed his address.  But within minutes, his dream of free suds was shot. Said the officer, "I think the man was drunk."

Oregon Governor on Food Stamps

In a publicity stunt worth mentioning, Oregon Governor, Ted Kulongoski, has gone on food stamps.  For an entire week, the Gov will only spend $21 on food - the equivalent of what the state's average food stamp recipient receives.

Why is the politician "suffering" through a week without coffee, organic fruit and his favorite, Progresso soup?  To prove that it's hard to feed a family on a meager budget of government handouts.

Perhaps next week, he'll slash three of his tires and drive to work... take an eye test without his glasses ... or run a marathon in high heels.  Look on the bright side... at least these feats wouldn't cost hard-pressed taxpayers any more of their earned income.

Ahem... NO ONE has a right to a middle class lifestyle.  For sure, some of us have cushier beginnings than others - but in the end, our desire to achieve and sustain a high standard of living depends on our intelligence, initiative, frugality and ability to not have 12 kids.  If raising some guy's weekly food stamp allowance will better him in the above areas, I'm all for it... but government data show that isn't the case.

Ethanol, Missing Bees and the FDA

It's all about the fuel...

Three headlines from last week:

-Are Cell Phones Killing Off Honey Bees?

-Ethanol Demand Puts Squeeze on Corn Supplies, Drives Prices Up

-Imported Food Rarely Inspected

1.) A disturbing cycle seems to be emerging.  Across the nation, honey bees are disappearing.  At this point, we don't know why.  (Blame it on Cell Phones, Satellite Radio or Don Imus...)  The result?  Increased prices for produce, due to the law of supply and demand.  Fruit and vegetables that depend on cross-pollination have seen (or will see) falling crop yields. 

2.) Speaking of supply and demand.  This idiotic push for corn-based fuel is sending the price of corn skyrocketing.  As a result, farmers are cutting back.  They simply can't afford to feed their cattle.  Less livestock produced = increased prices for meat at your local supermarket.

3.) The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) inspects just 1.3% of imported fish, vegetables and fruit. According to USA Today, "the nation is vulnerable to harm from abroad, where rules and regulations governing food production are often more lax than they are at home."

Adding it all up...

What do you get when you cross diminishing domestic production with increased reliance on imported food and a lax, under-funded FDA?

Potential disaster... no need to sugar coat this.

Most Americans have no idea where their food comes from -- and they don't care.  In Baltimore, it costs $1 per apple for some of the worst tasting fruit imaginable.  Strawberries are $5-6 per case.  And a quarter pound of blueberries will set you back $6-7.  You may have also noticed the prices of ground beef and chicken breasts creeping up.

Why?

Our food supply is being flown in from greater and greater distances.  Food that's grown/raised in the USA costs more to produce and transport.  Those prices are passed on to consumers.

An unhealthy expectation for out-of-season produce creates a demand for imported food - which might as well not be regulated at all.

"Never before in history have we had the sort of system that we have now, meaning a globalization of the food supply," said Robert Brackett, director of the FDA's Center for Food Safety and Applied Nutrition.

Take a wild guess what's going to happen next.  It ain't pretty.

What can you do?

Unfortunately, there's no catch-all solution to this predicament.  You'd be wise to shop for local produce at farmer's markets and orchards, if they're within reasonable driving distance.  Buying locally is not only healthy -- it sets a positive cycle of sustainable living in motion.  The less distance food has to travel between production and consumption, the better off we'll all be.

Quote Source: USA Today

Kentucky Fried Dinosaur

A 68 million-year-old drumstick was pulled from the earth.  Over the last four years, scientists poked, prodded maybe even tasted it.

Reuters reports: "a comparison of the protein's chemical structure to a slew of other species showed an evolutionary link between T. rex and chickens, bolstering the idea that birds evolved from dinosaurs."

You tell me... is it evolution...or a finger-lickin'-good fantasy?

(Watch out for those raptor wings... they're spicy!)

What's in YOUR water?

Next time you find yourself at the supermarket, lingering in the 'water aisle.' Remember this: there's a 25% chance that your off-the-shelf purchase came straight from the tap.

Yep... that's right. According to Cynthia Sass, a sports nutritionist, who recently spoke at the Dallas Health and Fitness Summit.

Sure, you like the taste, purity and cute containers.  But in the end, the 'bottle' is what you're paying for.

Fun Facts:

• 60-70% of bottled water sold in the USA is packaged/sold within the same state.  (This exempts it from pesky FDA regulation.)
• 1 in 5 states does not regulate their bottled water.
• Tests conducted on 1,000 bottles (including 103 brands) of water found "man-made chemicals, bacteria and arsenic in 22 percent of the bottles."

What about tap water?  Well, it's not immune to contamination either.  But you can easily purchase a home filtration system that will pay for itself once you switch off the bottled stuff.

And if you absolutely MUST have those cute little bottles... remember, they can be reused (as long as you take a few seconds to wash them out each day.

For more information, see Reuters.

What's the Buzz Cuz?

Beekeepers are distraught and likely forming support groups to mourn the loss of their beloved buzzers.  Across the nation, millions of bees have simply disappeared. 

The US Department of Agriculture's response: "uh... I dunno."

Well, my friend, here's something you may not know...  These little yellow and black suckers are responsible for WAY more than honey...and the occasional bee sting.

According to a recent AFP article "Domestic bees are essential for pollinating some 90 varieties of vegetables and fruits, such as apples, avocados, and blueberries and cherries."

Dang...and you thought guacamole was expensive now.  (At last count Whole Foods charges $19.77 for a pint of it.)  Next year's gonna be even worse.

So kick back and enjoy your delicious apple... your blueberry pancakes... and Cherry Garcia ice cream.  While you can!

What's the Deal?

More from AFP: "The finger of suspicion is being pointed at agriculture pesticides such as the widely-used neonicotinoides, which are already known to be poisonous to bees."

Score another 3-pointer for irony.  Kill the bugs, kill the bugs, kill the bugs... Wait!  We need them... too late.

I have a theory of where the bees have gone.  Odds are, they just got a better deal.  Like this lucky drone who nabbed a role selling nose spray.

If you haven't seen the bizarro commercial, check it out on YouTube.