The latest scare occurred in Iowa, where parts of a Des Moines Area Community College were evacuated.
A suspicious package, delivered last Thursday, was carefully opened by police and postal inspectors.
Inside, they found... a box of 500 condoms.
No student was harmed - though we can't rule out any allergic reactions to latex.
Granted, for the many Puritans parading around this country...condoms, or anything remotely connected to a phallus, is legitimate cause for concern. But hey, you get what you ask for... more protection at our nation's universities.